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Child Item

Kitchen update with vinyl plank floor

EdandCorrina

🖼️

The project:

Kitchen upgrade.

Replace tiled floor with vinyl planks.

Remove wall oven and cabinetry.

Remove bench-top hot plates and replace with freestanding oven.

Replace splash backs.

Modify existing overhead cupboards.

Install new range-hood.
Replace sink and tap ware.
Replace bench tops.

- Materials:

Orbital sander

https://www.bunnings.com.au/ozito-pxc-18v-cordless-125mm-random-orbital-sander-pxros-125-skin-only_p6290614#:~:text=Ozito%20PXC%2018V%20Cordless%20125mm%20Random%20Orbital%20Sander%20PXROS%2D125%20%2D%20Skin%20Only

Tile Cutter

https://www.bunnings.com.au/dta-300mm-handyman-tile-cutter_p6651774#:~:text=DTA%20300mm%20Handyman%20Tile%20Cutter

Reciprocating Saw

https://www.bunnings.com.au/ozito-18v-cordless-compact-reciprocating-saw-pcrss-018-skin-only_p0800105#:~:text=Ozito%2018V%20Cordless%20Compact%20Reciprocating%20Saw%20PCRSS%2D018%20%2D%20Skin%20Only

Multi Function Tool

https://www.bunnings.com.au/ozito-pxc-18v-compact-multi-function-tool-kit-pcmfk-200_p0800108#:~:text=Ozito%20PXC%2018V%20Compact%20Multi%20Function%20Tool%20Kit%20PCMFK%2D200

Pipes

Holman PlumbingHolman 50mm S&P Trap Combo Set

Cement sheeting

James HardieJames Hardie 3000 x 1200 x 6mm 3.6m² Flex Cladding Sheet

Bench

https://www.bunnings.com.au/kaboodle-38-x-901-1200mm-coconutty-double-edged-customisable-benchtop_p0193830#:~:text=Kaboodle%2038%20x%20901%2D1200mm%20Coconutty%20Double%20Edged%20Customisable%20Benchtop

Bits

https://www.bunnings.com.au/selleys-300g-white-wet-area-waterproof-silicone-sealant_p1230981#:~:text=S-,elleys,Area%20Waterproof%20Silicone%20Sealant

https://www.bunnings.com.au/builders-edge-100-x-100mm-plasterboard-wall-patch_p0730622

CSR GyprockGyprock CSR 1.5kg DIY Rapid Plaster Repair Kit

https://www.bunnings.com.au/dulux-15l-vivid-white-low-sheen-wash-wear-interior-paint_p0638909#:~:text=Dulux,Wear%20Interior%20Paint

Bunnings sausage

https://www.bunnings.com.au/about-us/in-our-community#:~:text=In%20our%20community

Plants

https://www.bunnings.com.au/search/products?page=1&q=indoor+plants&sort=BoostOrder#:~:text=Results%20for%C2%A0indoor%20plants

And soooo much more!

- Tools:

Drill

Saw(s)

Sander

Grinder

Tile Cutter

Hammer

Nail Gun

Screw drivers

Spirit level (apparently optional)

Silicone gun thingy

So many others

- Step 1:

My husband declared with a confident grin,
“Don’t pay a tradie... I’ll get stuck right in!”
I laughed and replied with a roll of my eyes,
“Those famous last words deserve a prize.”

Off to Bunnings we go expectations were high,
With far too much confidence money could buy.
Bench tops, some tiles, a shiny new drill...
And a husband convinced he’d mastered the skill.
“I’ve watched a few videos... how hard can it be?”
“Hard enough to scare the life out of me.”

The old kitchen vanished without much fuss...
The marriage, however, looked terribly suss.
The cement sheet slid with a awful roar...
SSSSCRAAAATCH!
across our brand-new floor.

He froze.
I glared.
The dog ran outside.
Even the neighbours chose to hide.
“It’s only a scratch,” he nervously said.
“Keep talking, sunshine...” I thought in my head.

Under the sink he made way for the pipes—

frustration and fury, my blood pressure spikes
“Measure twice, cut once” didn’t quite hold true,
five little slips turned the shelf askew.

Then tiling began with a confident run,
but by tile five, the lines came undone.
Some leaned to the left.
Some leaned to the right.
An offset subway fiasco in sight.
“The spirit level?”
“Don’t need one, love.”
The wall disagreed from somewhere above.

Two tiles cracked.
Another one chipped.
Many colourful adjectives accidentally slipped.

Then came the benchtop... polished, brand new,
along came his fancy new power tool too.
He smiled.
It slipped.
SCUFFFFFFF!

I near wet my pants,
He said, “It’s character—give it a chance!”
I said, “One more ‘upgrade’ that goes wrong from you,
And you’ll be the next thing I renovate too.”

We walked Bunnings aisles, bought things we didn’t need,
“Just one quick look” became DIY greed.
I cried and I argued, his ego took a knock,
while the dog scored Bunnings sausages—every single shop….

Each small fix meant another new run,
“just one quick trip” turned into twenty-one.

I made a rule that seemed fun at the start—
“Buy a plant each visit,” it warmed up the heart.
But now the lounge is a rainforest scene,
you can’t find the couch through the indoor green.

Bunnings staff were so helpful, with advice on the go,
but they needed to stop—they just didn’t know.
They didn’t know who they were dealing with that day,
so I nodded politely and dragged him away.

We set out to fix it, the vision was clear,
but the shopping list grew with each passing beer.
Bench tops and tiles stacked up in a pile,
plasterboard sheets stretching on for a mile.

Screws by the handful, glue by the drum,
wooden dowels, cleaning products, the budget overrun.
Drop sheets were flying, paintbrushes too,
and grout and silicone stuck to my shoe.

The jig saw was humming, reciprocating in tune,
multifunction tool singing all afternoon.
Orbital sander made dust clouds appear,
tile cutter snapping with mechanical cheer.

We bought it all there at Bunnings, of course,
plus “incidentals” that grew in force—
An eager husband, chaos in tow,

A controlling wife says, “No, no, no.”

Now the kitchen is brighter, cleaner than before,
with countless mistakes we don’t mention anymore.
He thought he could tile, he thought he could plaster,
instead what he achieved was a DIY disaster.

Still somehow it’s finished, we’re calling it done,
with a silent agreement of “never again, hun.”
We bought plaster and paint and said, “Yes, yes we can”
next time we just pay… a properly trained man.