🖼️
The project:
We bought our house three years ago, but the backyard was still living it's best life in the 1980s. Fresh off the high of welcoming our newborn twins three months prior, we sleep-deprived individuals came to a brilliant conclusion that this was the perfect time to undertake a massive outdoor overhaul. What we naively assumed would be a "simple weekend revamp" quickly became an epic battle against decades of outdated landscaping, plumbing and our mortal enemy - pavers. Ultimately, we conquered the chaos, dragged our backyard into this century, and created a functional space, all while keeping two tiny humans alive.
- Materials:
Turf
Soil
Mulch
Plants
Wooden sleepers
Pavers
- Tools:
Wheelbarrow
Shovel
Loppers
Soil spreader
Mattock
Sledgehammer
- Step 1:
What we thought we were doing: Clearing out the old brick barbecue, lifting some dated pavers, and removing the rock garden edging to create a blank canvas.
What actually happened: We successfully cleared the 1980s relics, but our celebratory high was cut short. Turns out, a stormwater pipe was buried so shallowly it was practically sunbathing. One wrong move and we had an accidental water feature. After a frantic, unscheduled intermission to repair the pipe and question our life choices, the slate was finally clean.
Pro Tip: Always locate your pipes before you channel your inner wrecking ball. Trust us on this one.
- Step 2:
The Plan: Say goodbye to the patch of "lawn" (read: an aggressive colony of weeds) and level the ground.
The Reality: The backyard had secrets. Beneath the weeds lay a hidden empire of pavers. Just when we thought we’d cleared the lot, the back corner revealed the final boss: a massive rectangle of solid concrete. Cue the sledgehammer, the sweat, and an extreme amount of elbow grease. We got a full-body workout we never asked for, but we finally reclaimed the dirt.
Pro Tip: If you're renovating a house from last century, assume the ground is 40% soil and 60% mystery concrete. Pack extra snacks.
- Step 3:
The Plan: Define the new garden boundaries with sleek edging and prep the soil so our future turf could live its best life.
The Reality: Turns out, eyeballing a straight line while running on twin-induced sleep deprivation is a competitive sport. After a lot of squinting, stepping back, arguing with the spirit level, and minor existential dread, we successfully laid down the new edging. Then came the workout: turning over the soil, raking out the rogue pebbles, and prepping the ultimate VIP bed for the incoming turf.
Pro Tip: Do not trust your eyes. Use a string line, trust the level, and remember that a perfectly straight garden edge is the ultimate flex.
- Step 4:
The Plan: Lay down the beautiful, fresh green turf and finally look like a civilised household.
The Reality: The turf arrived! The catch? It was dropped at the top of our remarkably steep driveway. What followed was a grueling, back-breaking relay race, carrying heavy, muddy slabs of grass down the incline. By the time we actually laid the turf down like a giant green jigsaw puzzle, we were completely spent, but seeing that instant transformation made every single trip down Mount Driveway worth it.
Pro Tip: If you have a steep driveway, bribe your strongest friends with a BBQ before the turf delivery truck arrives.
- Step 5:
The Plan: Barrow in some fresh soil, select a few beautiful plants, and lightly embellish the garden borders.
The Reality: Our garden selection criteria had nothing to do with botany and everything to do with hiding our aggressively ugly, blindingly red backyard fence. Standing in the nursery aisle felt like planning a tactical heist. We needed maximum leaf density, warp-speed growth rates, and psychological warfare against that red metal eyesore. We could have painted, but wanted to use a natural solution. After hauling in mountains of fresh soil, we planted our leafy green shield. The fence is still there, but if we squint, it’s a tropical paradise.
Pro Tip: If you're trying to hide a hideous boundary line, look for fast-growing screening heroes. We chose a lush hedge, because nothing says "I love my neighbors but hate their fence colour" quite like a thick wall of green.
- Step 6:
The Plan: Spread a nice, neat layer of mulch over the garden beds, pack away the tools, and admire our handiwork.
The Reality: If you ever want to test the strength of your character, try spreading mulch while completely sleep-deprived. But once the tan dust settled, the tools were put away, and the stray dirt was swept, the magic happened. The backyard suddenly went from "messy construction zone" to "magazine cover." On the plus side, by the time we finished, 7 months later, our twins could actually lend a hand!
Pro Tip: Mulch is the ultimate DIY cheat code. It instantly hides uneven soil, suppresses weeds, and makes your garden look like you hired a high-end professional instead of just winged it on three hours of sleep.
